Love vs. Right
We have all heard the expression, "Happy Wife, Happy Life;" informing men - and women - that if they make their wives happy, so shall their lives be (happy). Keep your wife content and life will be content (because she will not yell, nag or do whatever annoying thing it is she does that could make your life miserable). But is the expression true or a lark? Will some poor schmuck, dedicated to Happiness of The Wife, wake up one morning gasping, "That was complete shite!"
What about being right? How could the suppression of one's correctness allow for one's happy life? What kind of relationship is it with one partner capitulating or acquiescing while the other gets his/her own way? Would such capitualtion not breed resentment - or contempt? Besides, what happened to integrity, honesty, being one's true self? Is placating your spouse not lying, cheating or being hypocritical?
Frankly, I find the phrase irritating - condescending even. Not for the expression, itself, but for the person who utters it incorrectly (which is more often than not); who mean: "Do whatever your wife wants or your life will be a living hell!" Making "Wife" the demanding, ball busting, bad, Bitch (not the good kind).
begins somewhere -
The idiom is actually quite teachable when possible positive meanings behind, "Happy Wife, Happy Life," are explored. For example, making Wife happy could mean providing Wife respect, honesty, communication, love - ya know, putting in the work necessary to creating the partnership marriage vows pledge. Maybe, as opposed to "giving The Wife whatever is wanted," doing things to make Wife happy ('cause you like seeing Wife happy) will actually make you feel good. Or, along similar lines, "Happy Wife, Happy Life" may mean, when you make your wife happy, your wife will feel inclined to make you happy - not obliged, mind you, but inclined. Like walking down the street: feeling good, you smile at strangers; feeling bad, you frown or look sad - either way you will affect their day.
A study, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found, "A wife's
happiness in the marriage has the power to overtake a husband's marital
unhappiness to make his overall life quite pleasant." Huffington Post, 9/22/14.
Professor Carr, co-author of the study, stated. On the topic of strong relationships, Psychology Today blurbs, "certain traits have been shown to be especially important for healthy relationships. Both individuals should feel confident that their partner is willing to devote time and attention to the other, and that they are committed to accommodating the differences and challenges that inevitably emerge... partners also feel grateful for one another... afford their partner the benefit of the doubt, which creates a sense of being on the same team in life, a feeling that can help couples overcome many difficulties.
Both mentions point to the contrary of "giving up" and/or "giving in" (to The Wife). They promote a
reciprocal relationship as the key to a happy life. And, yes, that reciprocity begins somewhere -
Similarly, if "How to Achieve a Healthy Relationship" is researched, almost every example mentioned
will include the act of communication - if not directly then indirectly by way of sharing dreams,
memories, planning finances and (preferably)/ or discussing sex. There is a continued theme of intimacy
and sharing. This skill aids in the goal of, "being on the same team in life."
What about being "right"?
Eckhart Tolle said "...For you to be right, of course, you need someone else to be wrong, as so, the ego loves to make wrong in order to be right.”
What pleasure exists in a relationship where one is regularly found "wrong?" Is love the act of inflicting feelings of "wrongness" upon one's partner? Is being right more important than the partner's well being? In other words, is your ego greater than your partner's feelings, your partner's trust in you, your partners "gratitude" for you? More importantly, is your ego more important than loving, trusting and just being grateful for your partner?
The fact is, relationships require work. For many, this work is hard: taking risks, stepping out of comfort zones, getting vulnerable, feeling trust, compromising, checking in, paying attention, knowing one's own baggage and placing it aside, hearing as well as listening all for the end goal of sharing your life with someone - happily. To many, those commitments are a price worth paying. But, for others, they are not (worth being vulnerable, considering someone else's feelings, or being flexible). Whatever person you are, KNOW IT, OWN IT then LIVE IT. But, for those who uttered the vows, don't kid yourself into thinking that, "making The Wife happy" is more sacrificial than it is self motivated. Embracing the opportunity to please your partner is really for your own sake.
Meet The Entrepreneurs We Admire.
3 determined women at different stages of their careers: Pat, Christina and Amina.
On the Cover!
The incomparable Pat McGrath.
" I am a makeup addict, beauty junkie." "The features of a girl inspires you."
Richard Burbridge, Jessica Stam, i-D magazine, Sept'04
Steven Klein photo, Rihanna, W Magazine Sept '16
Valentino's Couture Show Feathr lashes Jan.2019 -patmcgrathreal
@britishvogue with photography by the LEGENDARY #StevenMeisel featuring #MakeupbyPatMcGrath -patmcgrathreal.
Her's is a story of the impossible dream - the undreamable dream of a young girl, raised by a single mother who shared with her daughters an indelible love for fashion. Pat's life is evidence how parents mark their children's futures, without even realizing their impact. She proves, the simple, natural moments guide as effectively as direct teachings - like watching classical films and discussing the makeup styles stars wore or blending cocoa powder from the kitchen cabinet because no colour sold in the stores matched her own skin tone. These moments were practical fun moments for Pat's mother, but, for a young (impressionable) child watching on in admiration, it was inspiring.
Oh the things this child, blooming into adulthood, skipping art classes to stalk London's bursting club scene, must have seen. On the cusp of, what is today, a legendary era, the thrilling boom of her heart must have echoed for miles. Decades later, this young, club kid, with her unique style, is the makeup artist owning the conglomerate, Pat McGrath Labs: “Where unadulterated experimentation meets raw glamour.” Stationed across the globe, Pat McGrath Labs skyrocketed to a billion dollar company two short years after it's open. Why? Because it is Pat McGrath, darling, "Mother" as called by many. She who is reputed to be one of the most influential voices in the fashion industry.
The fashion world is a fickle place, survived only by giants.
Pat McGrath not only survived, she has thrived!
All that she is and all that she has accomplished:
creating make-up concepts for Prada and Miu Miu, 90's;
developing a line of cosmetics for Giorgio Armani, '99;
being Global Cosmetics Creative Design Director for Procter & Gamble, 2004 (behind products like Max Factor, Dolce & Gabbana and CoverGirl0); collaborating on major fashion advertising campaigns such as Louis Vuitton and Prada; not to mention receiving a Member of the Order of the British Empire, for her services to the fashion and beauty industry at Buckingham Palace, 2014, as well as receiving the CFDA's (Council of Fashion Designers of America) Founder's Award in Honor of Eleanor Lambert, 2017 - thank you very much! As if all that (and so much more - we haven't even touched upon her runway shows or personal celebrity clients) is not enough, this business mogul takes the time to contact, encourage and promote up and coming talents she "runs across." Can you imagine Pat McGrath contacting you at five in the morning because she knows that's when you post on Instagram? Or being flown from Russia to New York Fashion Week - all because an icon sees your promise? Who does that?
Pat McGrath, baby!
Not bad for a self taught kid from Northhampton.
Check out her instagram @patmcgrathreal
"using pure ingredients to achieve optimal health."
Christina Schifitto was forced to re-evaluate how she was living, after experiencing a complete burnout in 2014 where she was unable to work, play or live a full life. Her re-evaluation showed how physical environments, and her perceptions of them, impacted her mind and her body. A positive experience in disguise, Christina's health crisis lead to a paradigm shift: she needed to rid her world of toxins in every way, possible. As someone who found positive results experimenting with essential oils over the years, Christina focused on adopting healthier lifestyle choices. She changed her eating style by carefully selecting real, nutritious, foods; she transitioned from chemical products to a more natural product approach, and closely pays attention to what her body is telling her. The resulting changes were so exciting, Christina wanted to share her findings, and feeling of well being, with others. She also wanted to learn more about essential oils so she could present their benefits to others. These desires encouraged her to become a Certified Raindrop Technique Practitioner.
Armed with the focus of helping people invest in their health, Christina began to see clients offering two body work techniques that include the use of essential oils. The Raindrop Technique is where the practitioner places drops of the oil(s), specific to the clients needs, along their spine then massages the drops into the spine. The purpose of this practice is to nourish the mind and body by promoting emotional support, stress relief, relaxation, mental clarity and spinal health. In addition to the Raindrop therapy, Christina offers a "vita flex" technique - this technique is an easy way to apply essential oil to the bottoms of clients' feet. This treatment means “vitality through the reflexes,” and is based on a network of reflex points that stimulate the internal body systems. When the fingertips connect to specific reflex points with essential oils, an electrical charge is released, relieving pain as well as improving physical and emotional well-being throughout the body.
Christina believes in taking a holistic approach when supporting her clients. Almost two years into her practice, her enthusiasm to share her discoveries, as well as her experiments with oils and natural products, resulted in her creating educational seminars. These seminars are a How To on blending products and learning their benefits. Christina's goal is to help clients make sustainable changes in their lives which will lead to long term benefits. Experiences with Christina also include hydration regulation with the optimal, Enagic Kangen Water system - because, Christina will tell you, drinking body cleansing water with higher absorption levels is the key to the body receiving greater benefits from healthy choices.
Christina is currently working on completing a Botanical Blends Certification to present pure medicinal and cosmetic formulations for clients' optimal health.
If you want to learn more about living a fuller life, visit Christina's website: purevibesbychristina.com or her youtube channel/ facebook page by the same name. Better yet, give her a call. She will be glad to hear from you!