Trauma.

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We have become well acquainted with that word of late, so much so that merely seeing it written could cause a quick intake of breath, tightening of the chest and an increased heart rate.

 

Everyone is traumatized, these days, and everyone is talking about it.

It's no wonder, though, because everywhere we go someone has something to say that... well... sucks.

 

We know turning the radio and television news on means setting ourselves up for horror - that's not including the latest tyrannical leaders' update on destroying their neighbouring relatives - that's simply the worst occurrences of the day or week or month(s) depending on the seriousness of the events. If we insist upon watching news reports as they air throughout the day, such information is compounded by our exposure to it.

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If we take the people we encounter throughout the day telling us - shite, news reports (twice?) a day telling us shite, increased workloads, the price of gas, the cost of food, the shortage of homes, the cost of homes, climate change, kids still at home, caring for our parents, shite experiences from our childhood, our parent's shite experiences, their parent's shite experiences, what are we left shifting through all day, every day? No wonder we feel traumatized. 

 

What do we think we are doing for our overall well-being?

 

As humans, we tend to be impacted more by negative events than by positive. https://positivepsychology.com/3-steps-negativity-bias/. The reason for that , we remember this information more vividly, actually learning and advancing because of negative events more than by positive events.

 

This learning, this stimulation, reinforces the desire for negative events or information in many of us. So much so that we become focused on them. We even begin to seek them out. This occurs because when we learn something, neurons from different brain regions communicate with each other through electrical signals. This communication creates connections known as pathways. With more exposure and practice over time, our brain creates stronger, more efficient (faster) communication between neurons, along the pathway. https://www.brainfacts.org/thinking-sensing-and-behaving/learning-and-memory/2023/how-does-the-brain-learn-101923#:~:text=Thus%2C%20when%20we%20learn%20something,different%20areas%20of%20the%20brain. 

This process has been explained as the ruts created on a dirt road that get deeper and more ingrained with each passing tire. The amount of exposure and practice can help transform that dirt road into a paved road, highway then even into a super-highway. Hence, the saying practice makes perfect. This process also works pertaining to gloom-ridden practices. Brain cells actually physically change based on strong, reinforced pathways. Our brains actually change with our experiences. 

 

Our focus on or seeking out of negative information is what scientists call Negative Bias. They believe Negative Bias is an adaptive evolutionary function stemming from our ancestors' responses to environmental threats.

 

Makes sense. People who were able to respond (quicker/ more effectively) to threats developed a sharpened "awareness" that contributed to their survival. As their descendants, we gained that instinct. Since the threats that existed in the time of our ancestors (like tigers pouncing from bushes to make a meal out of us) no longer exist, our need for this proclivity is far less. Due to this reason, our tendency is to seek out threats (as if cons, thieves, rapists, murderers, narcissists, disease, deadly creatures, natural disasters, et al are not enough).

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So, if we are not fairing well swimming in all life's sludge, what can we do? 

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Understanding that our Negative Bias is natural, may prove helpful. There is nothing wrong with us "Looking for Trouble" or "Chasing Drama," it is actually normal behaviour.

Also, as diminishing as this may sound, realizing that everyone is traumatized to some degree or another - 'cause zero childhoods were 100% positive - is added help. We are not alone in our emotional dysregulation stemming from pain, disappointments, invalidation and mistreatment - trauma exposure. We can validate ourselves, pull ourselves out of our trauma traps, and accept that we are not competing for "most traumatized experience" recognition - all the while validating our experiences and reaction to them (because no amount of external validation can challenge internal invalidation). Extending compassion toward those who experienced severe, chronic, overwhelming, destabilizing (with altered neurobiological gene markers) childhood trauma can be healing. As we want others to see (then sooth) our suffering (because soothing is ultimately our desire, right?), we can help ourselves by acknowledging others. When we learn to self-sooth, we have the greatest capacity to help others.

 

Reminding ourselves that we are a resilient species who have inherited the gene to kick adversity's ass when necessary is a substantial truth. The thrill of finding horror may make us feel "better," but, does it really? Besides, life will throw enough obstacles in our way to leap, walk around or burst through.

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Life may appear like a page from Cuckoo's Nest, but, creating our own personal domain in our home, on a walk, in the car before entering the house! is worth it. Remember, our brains continue to be moulded by experience and learning throughout our lives. Maybe we should take a lesson from our Gen Z's and chill more. Let's nourish ourselves with positive, revitalizing, awe-inspiring information that will change our brains (then our bodies) into our most exceptional selves.